Duped: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost Married

Duped: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost Married

Abby Ellin was shocked to learn that her fiancé was leading a secret life. But as she soon discovered, the world is full of people who aren't what they seem.


From Abby Ellin's first date with the Commander, she was caught up in a whirlwind. Within six months he'd proposed, and they'd moved in together. But soon, his exotic stories of international espionage began to unravel. Finally, it all became clear: he was lying about who he was.

After leaving him and sharing her story, she was floored to find out that her experience was far from unique. People everywhere, many of them otherwise sharp-witted and self-aware, are being deceived by their loved ones every day.

In Duped, Abby Ellin studies the art and science of lying, talks to people who've had their worlds upended by duplicitous partners, and writes with great openness about her own mistakes. These remarkable stories reveal how often we encounter people whose lives beneath the surface are more improbable than we ever imagined.

Title:Duped: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost Married
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About Abby Ellin

Abby Ellin is an American author and journalist. The author of two books, including Duped: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost Married, she writes regularly for the New York Times, and has contributed to Time, Newsweek, and The Daily Beast, among other publications.


    Duped: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost Married Reviews

  • Debra

    "He who permits himself to tell a lie once, finds it much easier to do it a second time and third time till at length it becomes habitual." - Thomas JeffersonAbby Ellin was duped by a man called "The ...

  • Valerity (Val)

    Duped: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost MarriedAfter the author, a writer who considers herself pretty savvy when it comes to people, finds that she’s been totally conned in ...

  • Kelly

    I was listening to this as everything about AJ Finn/Dan Mallory came to the surface and couldn't stop thinking "of course." Ellin's story begins with being duped by a man called The Commander. He seem...

  • Shelly

    Surprisingly captivating! This book had me turning the pages well after midnight and well after my eyes wanted to close. The author tells the stories of duplicitous individuals in a fascinating and en...

  • Marianne K

    Wow, a book about dupers, and liars, what's not to like!? A very interesting subject that the Liberal author could not resist using to make multiple digs at the current administration in D.C. I was wi...

  • Kayo

    Truly fascinating. While author got duped, she writes about lying and deception and how we all can fall various ways. Excellent read! Thanks to author,publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read th...

  • Jackie

    Abby Ellin explores the reality of the pathological liar in our society in all it's permutations. She was involved in 2010 with the Commander, a man who boasted of CIA links, covert missions, and link...

  • Jennie

    3.5 stars. Really interesting look at lying liars who lie. It's crazy to think about the people around us who are living in a puddle of lies. I knew a woman in college who was a compulsive liar, but l...

  • Robyn Murphy

    This isn’t a memoir but rather a study of human nature, and I found it completely engrossing. Ellin, an engaging writer, is able to merge raw reflections and science into something I truly wanted to...

  • Jill Blevins

    If you are willing to trust people, enjoy seeing the good in everyone, and have been taken advantage of more than you care to admit, read this book immediately. It will open your eyes and save you a l...